A mother's love (Bethsy)

I lay in bed next to her. Comforting her as we wait the end. I can see, she's slowly fading, wasting away. What kind of a grueling task has god set before me? What's his plan? Taking my only daughter away from me in the most horrible way. I know he's trying to tell me something with this. I don't know what it is, still. Im trying to comprehend why he wants her home.

What will I do without her? She's the only reason I live for, she is the only reason I'm a alive. I live for her, I eat for her, I breath for her. And when she's gone, what will I have left? Memories?Pictures? Videos?

She was born into a world of evil, but I was well prepeared to teach her about the world, so she could grow up to be a beautiful and honest young lady. Do you remember god? Do you remember when you decided to place her in my life? I thought you were punishing me for it, I thought my life was going to end. I was only 18, jobless and practically homeless. I thought of the live that my child will have with me. But when she was born, oh what a blessing she was. She shined like a sunny winter day, she was gorgeous. She could make me smile even on my saddest days.

Until she got sick, that light in her eyes was suddenly gone, she was tired, she is tired.

She was just 4 years old at the time god, why so young? why her? why my beautiful baby? She fights with courage, she tries her best, now 4 years later, she cant go on. She's tired. Oh god, if you are truly merciful please take her now, can't you see she's in pain? can't you see she's uncomfortable? can't you see she's ready? But still somehow she lingers, she lingers as if she's afraid to leave someone behind. As if she's afraid to leave me behind. I wish I could tell her that I'm ready, that I let her go. But I'd be lying and I dont want to lie to her. And she knows i'll be lying. She knows, she knows it all. I try to talk to her, but no words come out of my mouth, im numb, tears roll down my cheeks, I cant control myself anymore. I'm lossing my child, my only child. My reason for living. I've done what I could to save her, but everything has been worthless, has it? If she goes, she will be pain free. She's surely too much for this world.

I lay in bed next to her. Caressing her hair and kissing her brow. My sweet little girl, go my angel and soar in heavens.God, set her pain free, make her change of universe. See, several of her dreams will come true, she will be able to fly. She loves birds, she will be the most beautiful one. She will make shapes with the clouds as she flies through the skies.

This sickness may control her body, but not her spirit. Riase her sould from this body, the body that has fail her. And make her reborn in a new one, a permanent one, a cancer free one. Just do that please, set her free.

She opens her eyes, and gives me her last smile. She's gone, she's painfree "Go and open your wings like a beautiful butterfly in springtime" I tell her "Soar the skies my child, I will see you again soon, you'll see" I hold her close to me, I kiss her and hug her. I try to tell her how much I love her and that I loved being her mother. I'm glad that you gave me the chance to know her. I'm glad that you picked me to raise this beautiful little angel. But as they say, the good die young, now I believe it. Finally, you set her free, now please give the strength to go through this. Help me with my grieving.

Plase let her visit me in my dreams, while I sleep, but that will have its downside. I will spend all night with her, and when I wake up, day will be the nightmare.

Dont me this hard for me god.

I close my eyes, she's smiling beautifully at me, waving and blowing me a kiss, she's happy, dancing in the flower gardens.
Now I know that she's safe.

The end

*sorry that i got too dramatic* loool